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Hilarious chicken products direct from France online

More accessible, and much lower maintenance forms of french chooks you can buy directly online.

As usual, I had a bit too much time on my hands, so I found some amusing and quirky french chicken related products that could survive the journey in a box overseas from France. (Including the Australia post footy team)

The first is a cute chicken “bonnet”- really, its a hat, or fluffy beanie thing.

Certain people I know would love this thing, as silly as it looks- bit that’s the point, right?

“Bonnet de poulet blanc avec de longues pattes déguisement pour Noël fantaisiste”

Ahem. its not going to disguise you as a chicken.

Not even to a blind man, but its definitely pretty amusing.

I think that the dummy to the right who models this delightful french bonnet looks rather nonplussed at being chicken man for the moment.. but again, I can definitely think of a number of people who woudl love this enough to even wear it in public, on a regular basis.. especially to doof raves and clubbbing in the Ballarat or Melbourne CBD.

A very special type of attention is always bestowed upon people in pubs who wear novelty hats- mostly because drunk people are easily amused… and almost always bored. A supper cool.. or incredibly dorky hat gives people an excuse to come talk to you and make a few new friends when out on the town. Just dont expect it not to get stolen by some inebriated git, or out of control female on the turps.

Another odd, but immensely unique gift for the french chicken lover is a HUGE, jumbo sized stuffed chicken leg!

YunNasi Peluche Jambe de Poulet Jouet au Premier Age 60cm Coussin Décoratif Cadeau d’Enfant Doudou Bébé

Thats One Huuuuge Chicken Leg!!! just look at the size of it! over 60 cm in height!

If you are STILL hungry, the gigantic 110 cm version is up for grabs too!

Probably came from a turkey, what do you think?

As a matter of fact, i’d probably want to have one of these on my bed,  if I’m absolutely honest.

It needs a stuffed watermelon to go with it to complete the set however, because, y’know, chicken and watermelon go together and suchlike.

But if the monsterous chicken leg isn’t quite enough for you, the whole kit & kaboodle is availble- an oversized roast chicken. (possibly a toy set for people who dream of actually being able to cook one day.. but are sadly incapable at present.

YunNasi Peluche Poule Poulet Jouet au Premier Age Cadeau Doudou Bébé 45cm

It appears this fluffy chook comes with a whole family of accessories and additions for the perfect inedible roast.

I just cant get over how ridiculous this looks.. but I think I know I WANT ONE for absolutely inexplicable reasons.

Amusing chicken products in the UK.

A pal put me onto the concept of utilising package forwarders in order to be able to purchase products from UK, US and french websites that do not normally ship to Australia.

Mostly, I’m after cool electronics, but out of sheer curiosity I had a look in the pet section of Amazon in the UK, and found some pretty whacky things for sale that made me laugh a bit. I wonder how many they sell?

My first pick is the “chicken swing” by fowl play products from amazon UK. 

Fair enough, our chooks like to caper around.. but a plastic, purpose built playtime object.. just for swinging… And to top it off, just in case your avian avian happens to read, and forgets what her henhouse toy is for, its name is written in big, bold letters!

Admittedly, it is a kinda cute idea, and would make a thoughtful gift fro someone with some bored chooks in their back yard.


The next bit of unusual kit for your chicken is the Omlet Pink High-Vis Chicken Jacket. also on amazon UK, by the same seller. “Omlet”

Yep. You read right. It’s a high visibility safety jacket for your chicken. Turn your chook into a tradie or factory worker overnight?

Or, rather, make very sure that a wild dog, or fox will see her in the dead of night with certainty. The mind boggles.

In reality, its a quirky sort of gift that will engender a few laughs at the next family BBQ.

In all practicality though, some of the sillier and more intellectually challenged chooks designed for egg laying do have a habit of hiding in the back garden, and being impossible to find at twilight so you can pack them into the safety of the henhouse and shut the door (well away from the murderous intentions of the said dastardly Mr Fox)

Under a torch, any absconding prize egg layer hiding under a bush would glow and flash quite brightly, making them easier to catch.

The pic on the product listing below adds some context- why did the chicken cross the road? Because..

BUT, safety first! She had to do a JHA – Job Hazard Assessment, which determined there was a risk, and she needed to wear appropriate PPE – Personal Protection Equipment to mitigate the risk of being run over…

Again, my mind runneth over with wonder.. normally these kind of obscure and odd inventions with questionable practical uses only come from Japan last I checked.

Seems the Brits have jumped on the bandwagon of too much time and money to burn. At the time of writing, there were only a few of these abominations left in stock. I never would have guessed they could turn out to be popular!!

Might have had something to do with a tweet on by a bloke called “lord sugar” on twitter that went a bit viral perhaps..

French Chooks for your Ballarat backyard..

Breeding beautiful chickens of french origin in Ballarat is an easy feat- there are a number of chicken enthusiast groups in the western victorian region.

The main advantage to raising more exotic and interestign breeds of chickens whose ancestors emanate from europe is that, depending on the breed, they can be significantly more intelligent, and interesting to look after.

Invariably, more intelligent birds can be much easier to maintain, as they will not stand in the heat, cold or rain, waiting to die of a chill, and will flee to safety from urban predators such as foxes, cats, dogs and snakes which may threaten to eat them.

It is a great pleasure coming home, to find your chickens already back in their run, roosting in the henhouse, while other breeds with limited intelligence, such as Isa Browns, while excellent for laying eggs, are not much good for anthing else, including looking after themselves.  This breed was somewhat designed for the battery hen environment, where the chickens are separated into cruel little cages. Ironically, Isa browns are short lived, ill tempered, verging on psychopathic personalities, where solitary confinement can be best for their own safety from one another.

Chickens with superior mental capacity are less prone to backyard accidents, are lower maintenance, and less likely to manifest antisocial behaviours such as violent pecking, and killing fellow members of their flock.

Above is a fairly boring, but more well known chicken breed originating from France, the Bresse Gauloise.

Why settle for a standard white chicken though when theare are much more exciting french breeds out there to choose from?

To the right is an example of the coucou de rennes, a very rare but beautiful breed, with exceptional speckled and banded plumage.

That said, the best type of chicken for the inland Ballarat climate, consisting of extreme heat in summer, and biting cold in winter is the gold laced Wyandotte. though not french, and american in origin, these birds are hardy, smart, and very, very good looking.

Fiona Ludbrook of Pets and plants Ballarat is also a big fan of these beautiful birds, and writes here on the wyandotte on her blog

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